#Escapril

A poem every day in April

Day #1: A Fresh Start

Myth of a vacation,
holiday home by the sea,
a detox tea,

illusion of a face mask,
hot bath,
sacred steam, hold me.

Promise of letting go,
fresh start –
the past falls apart.

Like an orange,
peel me into one piece.

Be warned – I will grow back
with thicker skin.


Day #2: April Showers

Anyone for tea?
Hail outside.

Long phone calls,
“Grand stretch in the evening”.

Rusted bike,
Matted fur.

Smile of the sea –
Spotted with dimples of Spring.


Day #3: Incorporate Music

Chateau lobby
Setting for film school;

Feather stone
Filmed on a

Piano fire

Back at 505
Welcome home

Grassy headlands
Meadowlarks


Day #4: Anxiety

eating not eating
thoughts on loop
loops swoop
through me like
a palpable
palpitation. or
a nauseous
nightmare – night
arrives and
doesn’t go
leave
please
leave


Day #5: Back To Nature

Eagle ferns,
Under the M6,
Over to Nether Kellet,
Toward Caton Green.

Dulse seaweed,
Corner of the Claddagh,
Bay of sunlight,
Basking bottlenose.

Cherry blossom,
Canal path to Aldcliffe,
Slippery turn off,
Autumn leaves.

Petrichor and turf,
Soft evening curls,
Away toward,
The blackbird.


Day #6: Nostalgia

Home: paper dreams,
Feathered kites,

Grassy moments,
Lilac bruises,

Silver strand,
Sparkling arm bands,
Floating – across Galway bay.


Day #7: Start With a Time of Day

Part I
06:20am
Dear friends have talked of
Sleepy lie-ins, snoozed
Alarms. Groggy eyes and
“Where am I?”
One ear
Half-alert to the bullfinch

Part II
06:20am
Dear soul, I told you
We could rest now
I begged you to fall
Backward, into the Land of Dreams

Bare stomach, I felt
You growl. “You’re getting
Weak”, I heard
You speak.

Brain, I felt you race
To the start, before
Dawn broke. Inner chatter,
“Your life doesn’t matter”

Part III
06:20am
Slept for nine hours,
Woke without fear
Resurfacing when Surface
Was once impassable

Ephemeral drifting
In between so beautiful
But numbing


Day #8: A Love Poem

I wrote to you too many
Lifetimes ago. When
Rhododendrons blossomed
And moons had meaning

Or at least, I meant to
Write it. Twenty sixteen, I
Felt too strongly. No trust –
Notebooks covered in dust

Muddy Lancashire trials
Filled with failure,
Of playlists never made

I’d send you postcards
Always guarded, in some way
A brave truth tapping on
Your shoulder. So elegantly
Tessellating with mine as we lay

Traversing multiplicities
We carved. Together but so
Often distinct – not apart
Not separate, but visits
So succinct,

on the brink


Day #9: Focus On The Colour

Golden brown mountain turf
Against the foreground of a cream goat
West-end houses primary blots
Blinding the grey sky with light
Red sky at night
Galway spectrum of dearg


Day #10: Femininity

The guilty feminist
Endless vacation
Oceans of pink

Angry short hair
Angular exasperation

Becoming the self


Day #11: Not From Your Perspective

Chewing hay ,
Slowly, carefully but contentedly.
Rolling mountains,
Twitching ears –
Another fly, another day.
Throw a bale in,
Velvet nose.
You call it simple,
My focus,
Connection to the ground.
Hooves sink slowly into the soft sand.
Away, I gallop.


Day #12: Spring Cleaning

Freewheeling, descending Rahoon Road.
Light breeze, sure it’s a soft day.
The whisper of wind, rinsing out
Rusted, greased-over spokes of thought.

Easter break.
That time we rolled down
Spring Lane toward a village
Of daffodils – punching in a dream
So loud about what we contested
So silent about who we were
Who we wanted to be – she he we

Revision.
The small of the woods
As we navigated Bailrigg.
Listening to the Strokes and James Blake.
Branches cross-hatched across a seemingly simple walk-way

Hospital .
Flowers bloom, skies open.
Confined, to a bed for many weeks.
But growing at the same time.

First date in June.
Rained down the scent of Northern leaves.
Transform, transcend, it’s Spring.
I’m on the mend. But wounds are
Blossoming
From Aprils past.


Day #13: Celestial Bodies

A demi-moon
Shades of grey crossing my
Sleepy vision
Woman in twilight
Squinting
Dissertation is done
Lunar glow
An aura of mystique


Day #14: Make It Rhyme

return to childhood
doing what we could
to make things perfect
create things we’d then forget

not sure where writing began
where it ended, will end, when it can
granules of sand falling
through distant names, calling

absent friends who
ask to make amends


Day #15: Describe A Smell

algae – brown green sludge-
waft up toward my
senses. wash over me like
the wave that brought
you here to the shore
that licks at the hooves
of my new forest

overwhelmed by a salty
address, a welcome to
the coast line
the sea says
“now you’re mine”

curbed by the soft
meadowsweet
commonage half-bog land
fields of heather


Day #16: Any Dreams?

Greek Island
Hot sunshine
We argued about who would
Take the chairs
Up the mountain
So we could sit
Forgetting there would be stones
Forfeiting the heat
To dive in
Cool blue


Day #17: Body As a Friend

Inisboffin
Toward Fawnmore
There is the cat that
Came on the boat
In its carrier
Being unloaded
At its new Bofin home
The garden is the island

The skylarks are defeaning
They almost mute the sound
of the waves
Striking the cliffs!
Below me

The west quarter is desolate
I have this feeling
With me for the
First time that
I am an artist

I am thinking of Plath
I am thinking of yesterday’s
Coffees and cocktails

Thank you feet for carrying me here


Day #18: A Happy Place

Boat journey,
Cromwell’s fort,
Rocks smash,
Upward between waves.
Nauseous children,
But a smiling woman,
Amid a cloudy sea-scape,
In beret and red scarf.


Day #19: Without Your Name, Who Are You?

mango pudding
pear tree

flight of this bird
spring fuelled

searcher of colour
traveler but settler

waiting for a long time
for not too much

occupying spaces
of pause


Day #20: A Liminal Space

Varda did not create them,
Minorities did not opt for them.
I did not take the road,
Upon which emptiness resides.
We find them in corners,
Back tables of café bars.
Transitory shadows of
Fugacious flowers, blooming too
Early in April. Born in media res,
Subsisting with the icy sunrise,
Ceasing with the abrupt dusk.
A vicissitude is on the horizon!
Women seal up the cracks in between,
Soldiering our wounded Earth.


Day #21: It’s The End of the World

let’s escape to an inis
of utopia, crescent-shaped,
punctuated by a vacuum
of swirling water.
let’s abscond from an iris
of hazel swirling infinitude


Day #22: Nourishment

The Herbalist told me,
On the phone,
“Do whatever feeds your soul!

Don’t let them order you,
To lie down, be passive, rest your bones.
You’ll just feel alone”.

The Rheumatologist warned me,
In Merlin Park,
“Maybe you shouldn’t embark,
In academic endeavour”. It seems to spark,
Autoimmunity; immunodeficiency; hormones,
Certain medical… unknowns.

A palindrome of
Nurses’ Stats at Noon.
Don’t nod! Whatever you do.


Day #23: When The Party’s Over

cycling through deathly
quiet streets at 5am
hoping that the moon
doesn’t catch me as
my hi-viz sparkles
in the dawn
_______________________

blackbird warbling loudly
streetlamp flickering
mudguard scraping
across the front tyre
as we race toward
sleep
_______________________


Day #24: Liar Liar

The guitar lies:
Nylon strings,
Squeaking out,
Frets missed,
And barre chords muted.
The acoustic resonance,
Of tinny vibrations,
Tricking you,
Into believing,
In the hope of a cadence.


Day #25: Pick An Animal

Solitude and solipsism
They lie in the
Sunlit bay window
Purring profusely
Gazing lazily toward
Blackbirds who
Taunt on the horizon


Day #26: girlhood, boyhood

Favourite author:
M C Beaton
Favourite singers:
Joni Mitchell,
Orla Gartland
Favourite film:
Madeleine
A “girlhood”
Of power.


Day #27: The State Of It All

Planet in tatters,
Barbed wire lining the edge of
The beach, where the sand
Crumbles underneath the grass.

Zero hours – zero value.

Searching for Hope, ambition,
Solidarity in balance,
These brief moments of
Calm, relish the respite.


Day #28: Reflection

I see myself
In the Gurteen bay
Shallow cove,
Reflected back is
A wobbly silver-blue,
Grey clouds shrouding
A clear silhouette.
Ocean washing in,
To tell me (in hushed tones)
Who I am.

Who were we,
Swimming for miles?
The little terns,
Screeching cheerily above.
The cusp of a Summer,
Tide turns.


Day #29: May Flowers

fionn regan first day of may
bluebells blooming on the
odd day that escapes the
fog of winter past

fleet foxes 3rd may
borage and bog-rosemary,
crowning cotton spluttered tufts
sprouting from trodden-down turf

house martin swoops
silently through the
humid air – who is
hanging upon whose wing?


Day #30: Catharsis

Peeling off layers,
Of unwritten words,
Like cutting the green pip,
Out of a tomato.

A small, precise art,
Of emotional crafting,
Weaving a flow,
Of notebook pages.

Ruffled in a pile,
Under my desk,
The wrappers of
Emotional edict:

This is how I felt,
That is what I did.
On we struggle,
Wrangling the gloaming.

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